Unicorns aren't real. Buckle in. I'm about to hit you in the feels. Tooth fairies are completely fake. You found moms money when you were awake. Nobody knows why they pay for your teeth with cash. Old teeth are gross. They wind up in the trash. Yaaaay teeth!. Easter celebrates the day Jesus died. We Told stories of bunnies and chocolate. Who knows why? WTF is A Leprechaun anyway? Nobody has a fairy godmother okay? Daddies boyfriend was never your "uncle" Todd. cupid is a total fraud. Noah never built an ark to save the species. IF you make a funny face it will never freeze. dragons aren't real with their mouths ablaze. Thanksgiving wasn't really the happiest of days. We know there aren't any real fairies. And we're pretty sure there's no such thing as zombies. There's no such thing as a 5-second rule. making up Santa Claus was extra cruel. It's time to Swallow your reality pills. Get ready for a life of paying taxes and bills.