Good and Evil do not exist.

God and Satan are brother and sister, and the Big Bang was a giant cockup.

Now, over 13 billion years later, the most important item in all of creation is Simon Debovar's living room carpet. And someone just stole it.

Can Simon overcome his anti-social nature and recover his carpet before it costs him his life?

And, more importantly, should he?

Brace yourself for a witty, sexy, sweary romp through a world of angels, demons, witches, immortals and talking deer. Join Simon and his alcoholic, foul-mouthed Great Aunt Harriet as they stumble their way from one near disaster to the next, with the fate of the world at stake.

Get Carpet Diem today and experience the hilarious, twisted imagination of Justin Lee Anderson.