I'm asking Calandra to marry me. I've known her forever-it was Calandra-and-Ryan all through school and into our adulthood. No one is surprised when she flashes the engagement ring, but after that, our lives descend into chaos.

Whoever thought having a wedding would be this complicated? I never see Calandra, and who knows what the hell I'll be dressed in when I reach the altar. Her crazy friends have some crazy ideas, and Calandra is starting to think that this wedding is a bad idea.

So I makes plans to steal her away. I'm king of the grand gesture, and I plan to make this night the best of her life.

And it works, but not in the way either of us anticipated...