Raise your hand if you have ever run into a mannequin in a store and apologized. Continue to keep your hand raised if you want to pre-write thank you notes to those whom you anticipate attending your funeral because you suffer from chronic "way too nice" syndrome. Keep it up high if you have ever farted in church or yoga class. Man, my arm is getting tired!

Most people are awkward during the middle school years, grow out of it, and blossom into mature, well-functioning human beings...I'm still waiting for this to happen.

Awkwardness is my hidden talent, although most who know me would tell you it isn't hidden-it's written on my forehead. My daily life is filled with epic failures. Sometimes I feel like I'm one big malfunction! As I have gotten older, I just try to embrace it.

After you read this collection of essays, hopefully you will be able to accept your imperfections too! Nope, probably not because I'm still not there! However, maybe my comedy will stick with you like that hemorrhoid you can't seem to get rid of, like ever-Good Talk...Good Talk.