A narcissistic mother destroys the life of her child by putting herself and her feelings above any other considerations creating a sense of worthlessness and failure which can ultimately make life not worth living. It's like a child in an Eastern European orphanage who never cries because he knows nobody ever comes and nobody cares. He blames himself for being unlovable. He blames himself for being abandoned. I was such a child of such a parent and my struggle to find a reason for living came close to making me take the only possible action available to me to bring the misery of my existence to an end. This book was written to show how I have managed to survive so far in the hope that it may help others who find life just not worth the pain to continue living