Dear Courageous Reader,

I'm shocked to report that powerful knuckleheads have divided Island Nation, stoked extreme school rivalries between the Puddin' Heads and Sweeties, and created ludicrous school rules. Students are required to wear MegaCorp Frames and only read MegaCorp books (all other books have been banned). In class, students attempt to survive bootstraps, spoon helmet, dodge rod, duck yoga, and dynamite combat training. And get this: Students with large hands are not allowed to lead, play guitar, or play offense in soccer.

However, despite these obstacles and twenty-three school expulsions, fourteen-year-old Blaze Union has risen as the improbable hope for becoming the boss of the nation's schools, and challenging the supreme prime minister himself. Brave truth seeker, please read this story as quickly as your heart and mind can handle, and before it is too late.

Spoons up! Heigi hooga!

W.T. Kosmos

Paradox, USA, Earth, Milky Way

P. S.

Warning: This story may cause sudden laughing, crying, shouting, jumping up and down, or head butting.

** 2023 American Book Fest, Fiction Book Award: Humor/Comedy/Satire **

** 2023 Readers' Favorite Book Award: Young Adult Social Issues **

** 2023 Literary Titan Book Award **

"Gloriously absurd... delightfully funny... larger than life."

- Kirkus Reviews

"An absolutely hilarious story that had me laughing at the odd behaviors presented in every chapter... The perfect book for those of you who may look around and ask, 'Is divisiveness becoming as absurd as I think it is?'"

- Reader Views

"A unique and imaginative work of satire."

- Literary Titan

"A wild Swiftian piece of imagination, as funny as it is urgent."

- Self-Publishing Review

"Highly conversational, this is a tale that reads with ease."

- Reedsy Discovery

"A sensational tale... hilarious... marvelously written."

- The Book Commentary

for ages 12 to 128