Maurice Saatchi is dead.

He is standing in front of the Gates of Heaven. Arrival halls worse than Heathrow Airport. Queues. Overcrowding. A tidal wave of Paradise seekers. ID scans. Voice and facial recognition. X-ray examinations. Background checks. It all seems like a bad dream.

His tests expose abnormalities. He is charged with multiple breaches of immigration law and detained pending a full jury trial.

The verdict will reveal the biggest secret of all time: why some people go to Heaven and others to Hell.

Do Not Resuscitate is a bold statement. Maurice Saatchi, a towering figure in the worlds of business and politics, frames his unsparing self-portrait with the conceit of a celestial trial in which his application to pass through the Gates of Heaven is heard before a jury featuring luminaries like Marilyn Monroe, Pablo Picasso, Chairman Mao, and Margaret Thatcher. In seeking admission to Heaven, Saatchi offers a defence like no other.