Tucker Wright's Clues for Life:

What's a 4-letter word for an utterly oblivious, totally commitment-phobic, heartbreakingly gorgeous man with a pet pig named Bernadette?

That'd be D-U-N-N, as in Dunn Johnson, my very best pal and fishing buddy since I moved to Licking Thicket.

What's a 6-letter word for a nerdy, crossword-loving town doctor who's doomed to be hopelessly, thoroughly, irrevocably, in love with that straight best friend for the rest of his born days?

That's T-U-C-K-E-R, as in me.

But when I agree to let Dunn be my 24/7 dating coach, and he decides to get our whole nosy town in on the act, there's only one 5-letter word to describe the pair of us.

F-O-O-L-S.